Am I Ready for This?!

The registration date for IM Coeur d'Alene is fast approaching (June 23rd) and I have to admit that I'm a bit nervous. I am having doubts about my ability to do this race, particularly doubts about my ability to commit to training this next year. My doubts probably have a lot to do with my lack of motivation to complete my training for this year's Pacific Crest Half Ironman race on June 28th.

If I am not training like I should now for my Half Ironman race, what will change in my attitude to get me to train for the Ironman? I am not sure, which is why I am a bit nervous.

Ironman training is serious and is something I cannot fake my way through or half-a**. I have to do it. I cannot wake up, see rain, and punk out of a 75+ mile bike ride. And this is where I am not sure I am ready.

There is a lot going on in my life. I'm working full-time, I'm in graduate school, and I'm going to take on a second job soon to pay down some debt. All of that is without adding 20+ hours a week for training, which is about what I will need to do to be in shape by June 2009.

And yet, I REALLY want to do this race. I really want to work toward this goal. I want to complete my first Ironman before I have to give up training to finish my degree.

And maybe that is it. This race is sort of my last hurrah before I have to put training aside to get serious about my schooling. I can always pick training back up once my counseling internships are done (I have to do 2 over 5 semesters, which will probably take about 2 years), but to wait 3 years to train for an Ironman seems torturous. Part of me feels like this is my last chance to do this race (before life happens). Why I feel that I cannot quite explain. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am single and this seems like the most ideal time to give so much of myself to a goal.

I guess I will keep moving forward, as I always do. I will leave it up to "whatever happens, happens." If I get a spot in the race, then I will give it my all (training and racing). If not, then I will wait to do this race after I graduate.

We shall see...